Ewww! My first encounter with head lice

Head lice. Nits. Just reading those words makes my scalp itch.

For the first time in my life I saw head lice. And they were in my OWN CHILD.

The feeling of horror and shame when you find out it's your child! I was mortified! I felt like a bad parent. I felt like I never wash my child. I felt like she was suffering some sort of neglect!

My daughter had been complaining of an itchy scalp. I had been sifting through her hair earlier in the week but not noticed anything but on Friday when I was doing her hair I did notice something that I thought could be nits, but I wasn't sure. She'd never had it before and then I was working both Saturday and Sunday all day so I couldn't look again till Monday evening.

So on Monday I went to the areas that I saw the possible nits. I had seen nits on patients before, so I knew they cluster near the back hairlines. I was picking them out and putting it on sticky tape so I could see better. They were stuck quite hard to the hair but I could still pull them off.

And then I saw something moving in her hair. Immediately I went hunting for it and I grabbed it and stuck it to the sticky tape. Yep, it was a louse. GROSS.

I yelled to hubby and showed it to my daughter and she killed it.

"Why did you do that?" I asked. "I want to show your father."

"Because it's yukky!"

I rolled my eyes. I yelled to hubby that our daughter had lice and he needs to look in her hair and I need to go to the chemist right now. He came down with a comb and said we will comb them out.

"No!" I said. "You need to kill them first or we'll have lice everywhere!"

He found another one with the comb and I went off to the chemist and bought two bottles of nit shampoo. My memory of head lice shampoo is that it smells revolting and was full of chemicals. There were so many brands to choose from, I had to ask the pharmacy for advice and I walked away with an extra nit comb as well. There are lotions, shampoos, conditioners! I opted for a lotion that you apply to dry hair.

Now, I am not new to lice. After all, I saw the chicken lice. They were an orangey colour but the human ones are darker, more brown/black.

So off I immediately checked everyone else's hair for nits or lice. Boys are great with their short hair because there is nowhere for lice to hide. I can practically see my son's whole scalp coz his hair is short and there were no nits. Hubby too got checked and he was clean. But I couldn't check myself, so I decided to just treat myself because nobody knew how to check or what to look for.

So I marched my daughter to the shower and we sat naked in there whilst I poured nit killer on her head and hair and rubbed it in. She has such long hair it nearly used up the whole big bottle! She apologised to me about her nits and I told her it's ok, Mummy should have checked earlier.

Once I made sure all her hair and scalp were wet with lotion, it had to be left for 10 minutes. So we did my hair, which is fortunately short. Time to attack her hair with the nit comb.

The lotion is good because it acts a bit like a lubricant so I can pull the nit comb through her hair. I still had to do a bit of detangling but I started in sections and I was amazed at what the comb picked up. I put it on a tissue so I could look closer at them. Gross. I don't really WANT to share a picture of it, but for those who have never seen them it might be useful to see them...

It is actually quite rewarding doing a nit comb. Getting stuff off her head made me feel like I was doing a good thing. I was relieved when we did my hair that I didn't get anything so I was nit and lice free.

We washed all the sheets and then I was worrying about the couch and things that she had been lying on. However, the NSW health info sheet on head lice said that lice cannot live for more than a few hours off the head, so there is no need to worry about blankets and pillows. I was surprised. But there is still possibility of nits falling off and hatching, I suppose.

Someone at work was surprised my daughter made it to the age of 9 and never had it before. I am more worried about how to prevent it happening again!

Apparently head lice repellents (like tea trea oil sprays) are not effective. Basically it's just not putting your head next to an infested one. Braids and ponytails mean less stray hair around, so my daughter will be having her hair tied in tight braids every day!

Kids gardening - Vegepod

I haven't had much luck growing good vegies. This year has been particularly pathetic, and I could even get my basil to grow (though a lack of watering and late planting into the ground may have had a lot to do with that).  Last year's poor beans had been plagued by bugs, my snow peas this year met an early demise from the extreme temperatures, and I only ever got one okra from my plants.  The cucumbers from a few years ago were the best crop I had.  and a colleague of mine suggested a Vegepod.

From the website:

...they provide superior growth-rates due to the complete growing system. Unlike traditional raised garden beds the Vegepods give you complete control over the soil which means any nutrients you add are utilised by your plants only. The self-watering reservoir holds up to 64 litres providing all the moisture your plants require – from below!

The unique greenhouse cover provides a micro-climate that promotes rapid growth. The cover has a mist-spray watering system and the hinged cover provides effortless access to all plants – even mature ones. Tired of the possums and wildlife eating your crops before you do? The covers protect your plants from animals, pests and bugs and damaging weather.

I was skeptical, it sounded too good to be true. Was it really that easy?  I read a couple of reviews - one on Vegie Smugglers and another on Going Grey and Slightly Green - and both said great things. Here is a pic of what Vegie Smugglers grew in 5 weeks.

Inspiring right? So I went and bought a small one from the local pet and garden store, and put it together.  The cover is actually quite hard to assemble and trying to get the plastic on made me crack the connecting joins so I hope they don't fall apart after lots of exposure to the sun. My set was also missing the clips to connect the cover into a flip top, so I emailed Vegepod and Matt said he would send me out some clips.

I set it up in the backyard on the grass, and I put some Bok Choy on the right and planted some carrots on the left and here they are.

A few weeks later they were looking nice and fat but unfortunately caterpillars and slugs were attacking them!  There is enough gap underneath the cover to allow the ratbag slugs in, so they have been climbing up my container in droves.

The carrots were coming up, and were so far safe from the slugs, but the slugs were coming in force to the bok choy side and so I had to put baits out to get rid of them. I also did a beer trap which wasn't very effective because I put it on the wrong side but I moved it and caught 2 slugs as well as 6 others that were crawling all over the place.  I had also put baits out so perhaps the slugs were disoriented because of the bait.

Here they are at about 2 weeks.  You can see my little beer trap on the right there.

After a month they were getting nice and almost ready to eat! And 2 weeks after that I decided to plant some spinach and lettuces between the carrots and the bok choy.  I had picked a couple of the outer leaves for the kids to eat and they seemed to be excited to be eating home grown vegies. I planted a few seeds of coriander next to the carrots for fun.

The lettuce was quite slow to germinate (about 2 weeks) but the spinach popped up within a week. The lettuce is next to the carrots and the spinach next to the Bok Choy. By now there were plenty of leaves to harvest and we were having a regular meal at least once a week, sometimes twice.

And this is them last week (first week of August) .  I had put some Blood and Bone Fertilizer to try and boost my lettuces and it seemed to do the trick.  Unfortunately the carrots also seem to have taken to sprouting more leaves because of the fertilizer which is not ideal because I want them to grow more root (carrot).

This week I noticed that the Bok Choy is starting to flower. I was going to let one of them seed and cut the rest of the flowers back so I can keep harvesting leaves.  Maybe I can plant some more Bok Choy to keep the supply going!

The best thing is that the kids love to come outside to water the plants and pick the vegies, and they are also very keen to eat them. They are so enthusiastic about eating the vegetables that are grown at home and cared for by them that I would highly recommend vegie growing as an incentive for kids to eat their vegetables!

Carrots aren't ready to harvest yet - and it was hard for me to figure out when they would be ready, but apparently they are ready when you see the orange tops pushing out of the ground.  Should take 90 days or so, I've heard. I had a little dig to see if any root was forming but nothing yet....

Feminism and Masculinism - what are we teaching our children?

The Feminism debate emerged again during another World of Warcraft executive interview.  He made a comment that set Twitter and the Blogosphere on fire.  It's not new, the debate of women in gaming, and it feels like the same old arguments are thrown out all over again.  In fact, the feminist discontent is always there, like a low banked flame, but every time a debate goes out, it's as if someone threw boiling oil over it to make it flare hot again.

My take on the whole thing is that yes, they don't do the "women" thing well at Blizzard.  Rob Pardo probably shouldn't have said that it might have to do with the way all the guys grew up with comics and sexualised women - but it was conjecture not scripted, I think, and that was the problem.  The poor guy just said something off the top of his head and everyone jumped on it.  He doesn't REALLY know why there is so little equality in Blizzard, but it's obvious to me - guys don't really get women and they will write or script how their imaginations work.  I'm a woman and I write like a woman, do you really think I can write about how a man thinks or how men should be in the world except from my point of view?

People said Blizzard should fix this lack of females high up in the Blizz management.  I disagree - you can't just FIX it by putting a token woman or other female empathist.  You put the RIGHT person in there.  A lot of people believe that it's by educating everyone about feminism and equal opportunity that it will somehow make it right.  That's not what I believe.  You can't talk about it or write about it - the people listening to you already KNOW all this.  You need to DO it.  You need to make the difference.  If you really believe that there need to be more women CEOs - well go do it!  I believe that women need to be more represented in the upper eschelons of medical heirarchy and rather than complain about it, I went and did it.  I rewrote rosters, organising the disorganised chaos our trainees faced when faced when we started our anaesthetic career; daily allocations were streamlined to follow, and I made some resource booklets for the subspecialty modules so that trainees knew what to learn, who they could go to and what lists were available if they were lacking in a particular area.  Actions speak louder than words. I never complained about the heirarchy, I made sure that I became an essential part of it, and now, here I am.  Writing or voicing complaints about it does not get you anywhere, the people higher up need to SEE and be SHOWN that the person who can make the difference is WILLING to make that step.

This article was on my twitterfeed  - "When Masculinity Fails Men" and it was a great read.  Dr Nerdlove wrote:

I’ve written about this before: the definition of “masculinity” pitched to men – especially young men – is one of violence, social dominance, anti-intellectualism and aggressive, even uncontrollable, sexuality. “Toughness” and stoicism are the only acceptable forms of expression besides anger and danger is the only worthwhile pursuit. Respect isn’t earned so much as taken, only to be given when you’ve impressed others sufficiently with how tough – how manly – you are.

A friend of mine linked a video about how we bring up our sons and daughters, and how the media influences them. Why are boys always depicted as confronting danger and fighting, even if it's in the cause for good?  Why are emotions and caring considered to be feminine and weak?  Why are girls allowed to wear masculine clothes and boys are not to wear anything that hints at being feminine?

There is no inbetween for males - you're either manly or you're a pussy.  Males may have to constantly be battling the threats to making them vulnerable because if people take away your power or status then they're taking away your manhood.  There's nothing in between manly and pussy. And society reinforces this.  And as Dr Nerdlove says, the most common way of establishing this power is violence or the threat of violence. And now they need to re-establish themselves by punishing those who threaten their masculinity, for daring to make them weak.

This is what I want to avoid for my son.  In a world where boys where blue and black and play with guns and tanks and cars, I leave my son open to choices of what he enjoys rather than what society thinks he should enjoy.  I want my son to be an emotionally well balanced individual who acknowledges and accepts and understands the feelings of others.  I want him to be able to solve his problems without intimidation in a world where threatening behaviour seems to be the norm when it comes to getting your way. It seems like a huge ask.

But what am I doing about my daughter, I hear you say. It's much easier for me to raise a well balanced daughter than it is to raise a well balanced son.  She has a mother who is independent, who believes she is capable of anything she puts her mind to.  A mother who doesn't notice who is a boy or a girl, black or white, but judges them on their merit.  It seems to be a natural tendency for my daughter to gravitate towards female hero figures, pink and pretty things, but there is nothing wrong with that.  Her mother does that too!  As long as she knows that its not her sex that limits her, but her dedication, commitment and drive then I will be happy.  People may say "Oh, she'll found out soon enough how rough it is against women in the real world," but in truth, I have never found this to be the case. I have never thought being female was a sign of weakness (except when it comes to lifting heavy things), because my mind is my strength.

And I hope that both my kids will grow to respect everyone, regardless of sex, and be empathetic and understanding individuals and help break this cycle of feminism and masculinism that seems to grip our culture in this modern day and age.

Speech progress: Colours and size, and a bit of naughty on the side

I felt like it has been a huge hurdle trying to get my son to get the concept of colour, and he has only JUST got it!  I was so happy when he said RED plane, BLUE plane, GREEN plane, and he's now getting the idea of yellow and orange.  I was so chuffed, I squealed in delight, gave him a huge cheer and a huge hug everytime he got it right.

And we did his homework with Big and little and he got that down as well!  He said them all right, I applied it to the plants and he got THAT right, I feel like my son is taking really solid footsteps down the path to speaking properly!

The other day though, he was very naughty.  He went to my hobby room and took my scissors and cut my sunflower seedling 3 to 4 times until it was just 1cm of stalk.  He got a huge scolding and a spank from hubby for taking out and playing with scissors and now he knows that you DO NOT CUT PLANTS.  Oh my poor sunflower.  I was so looking forward to seeing my first sunflower grow.

Speech progress for my son

It's been more than 6 months since I started Speech Therapy for my son - how is he now?

In a nutshell - much improved!

He has finally understood the concept of colour.  He can do 3 colours, though probably with about 90% accuracy.  I should start introducing more colours!

His question concepts are better. He says "Where Mama?" and "Where bowl?" and even says "What's that noise?"

He has also learned to say "Mama, may I have X please?" which he is using very appropriately.  From things like chocolate, milk, rice to "open roof" (opening the sunroof in the car), I have found this to be very encouraging.

His speech therapist has said that he talks a lot now, which he does, and he is coherent which is great.  He still can't answer questions well like "What do you want to eat, rice or noodles?" and he will say "Yes". Sometimes he answers it.  But I don't know if he understood it.

He has another year before school so I will continue with the therapy.  I'm happy that I can finally communicate a little with my son, and I am hoping in another 6 months we can have a REAL conversation.

Children: Speech improving

I am not sure if it is the speech therapy or time, but my son has had a marked improvement in his speaking in the last week or two.

He's been singing songs - lots of songs, not just one or two - which include Baa Baa Black Sheep, Row row row your boat, Big Balloon (Peppa pig), Twinkle Twinkle Little Star, Fruit Salad... it's so heartwarming and encouraging!

Even last week at Daycare, the teacher said that he was very happy that day, talking a lot and singing, and that he was her favourite boy in the day care.  He is very friendly after all.

I'm supposed to be doing the choice boards with him now, but I find it a little hard as he already knows the words.  The choice boards are good if they aren't talking yet, I can see that, but I am still a little hesitant as to how to give him the most benefit from them.

The other great thing is that he's started looking at books.  He used to hate books, but every night he likes to read Charlie and Lola, and also Room on the Broom as well as his picture ABC book.  He would rather point at the pictures and talk about them than listen to me read the words, but it's a start.

I wonder what he'll be like at the end of the year?

My son, the beautician

One day my son will probably be mad at me for writing about his quirky toddler behaviour.

He's always enjoyed putting moisturiser on himself, and putting it on me, but he's gone that little step further!

I have a Ped-Egg for the calluses on my feet.  I quite enjoy doing my feet whilst curled up in front of the television watching a movie. My son J watched me with interest and wanted to do it on my foot.  Now, I can hardly take it out without him running over to industriously file away at my foot with my Ped-Egg.

I also enjoy having a shower with the kids rather than popping them in the bath.  I have a facial scrub that I do every day in the shower and now, my son will put a blob of the facial scrub on his hands and scrub my face for me.  He also enjoys putting shampoo in my hair (though I wish he would learn to give me a head massage as well).

The other funny thing is tweezering my eyebrows.  He likes to pretend to use the tweezers to do my eyebrows though I have to be careful he doesn't poke me in the eye.

Makes me wonder - will my son one day become a beautician?  And if so, I wonder if he will get cross at me for all those dreadful home hair cuts I've been doing for him!

Potty training your mouth

A gaming friend of mine was writing about how she was playing games late at night and her mouth just let loose with all sorts of language that she was glad her son couldn't hear.  It's funny because as a gaming parent, I have similar issues.

Swearing and cursing are things we don't want to teach our children, but they are things that they pick up when they're listening to you talking.

One funny time was when our family went out for lunch at Kitchen by Mike, in Rosebery.  Mike McEnearney is the force behind the menu, whom with Jeffery de Rome (both of whom worked at Rockpool in sydney as senior chefs) have come up with this concept of great food in a canteen type environment.  Rustic tables, cutlery in tin containers, a line-up and get served ordering system make it an interesting experience.   Unlike other canteens though, the prices are not cheap, but the food is really nice and it has a coffee section as well.  There is minimal table service so if you're looking for that - you're looking in the wrong place.

It's great for kids because they can just sit at the tables and you don't have to wait for food, you go get it yourself and pay for it and sit.  By lunchtime it's gets packed so get in early.  There is also room to sit outside.

I took some WoW friends to eat there once.  I'm not sure if the menu was not mainstream enough for them.  But they have cakes and desserts as well and the menu changes daily.

Anyway, back to the story.  So we had just had family lunch and we were walking back to the car.  My daughter kept stopping to tug at her leg and pants and scratching.

"What's wrong with you?"  I asked, looking down at her leg.
"Fuck my leg's itchy," she replied, as she tugged the pants down.  She just said the F word.  Just like that.
I was taken aback.  "What did you say?" I asked, calmly, thinking maybe I'd misheard her.
"I said fuck my leg's itchy," she replied.
I put on my nice calm and it's not-a-big-deal voice.  "Oh, you can't say that word E, it's a bad word."
"Which word?"
"Fuck.  It's a bad word.  You can't say that word.  I'm not going to say it again because it's a bad word."
"That's not a bad word.  Shit is a bad word," she replied.
Oh my god.  This was just getting better.
"Yes, that's a  bad word too.  But the F word is a bad word.  You can't ever say that or you will get in big trouble.  Ok?  Please don't say that word again."
"Ok, Mama," she replied.
I hugged her, so she knew she wouldn't be in trouble.  After all she must have heard us saying it.  Which made me wonder. "Where did you hear that word?  Who says it?  Did you hear Mama saying it?"
I know that I say that word a LOT but mostly at nighttime when the kids are asleep.  Anyone who hears me playing World of Warcraft especially in arenas and doing poorly in a raid will hear me drop a couple of bad words... well, maybe more than a couple.
"No, not Mama.  Dad says it."
Aha!  SPRUNG!  I admonished my husband for his use of swear words in front of the kids.  I mean, she even used it in appropriate type of context that you could hear in an everyday occurrence.  If you don't watch your mouth that is.

My daughter is well trained now.  She never says the bad words, but whenever she hears them, or she hears us saying them, she says "So-and-so said a naughty word!" and whoever says it apologises for saying it and tried really hard not to say it again.  Relatives, friends, are also suitably admonished and they contritely say sorry and try their best not to swear in front of my kids.

But your kids will hear these words at school, on TV, or read it on the internet.  I think it's important to let them know that it's NOT a good word, and try hard not to use it.  If we can exercise some restraint, then so the kids.  In fact, I am really impressed with the amount of restraint my daughter has, because she never says the words anymore.  If she can do it, why can't we?

Does Speech Therapy Work?

I admit, I was skeptical about speech therapy.  With my son J speaking very little and quite behind on his vocabulary as well as showing no interest in letters or words, I finally gave in to my anxieties and got him to see a speech pathologist.

Firstly, they're not cheap.  The one I see costs $70 for a half hour session.  The initial assessment cost me $180.  And of course, I didn't take all those extras on my health insurance so it's all out of my pocket... sigh.

The first time I went, I watched what they did with my son.  The speech pathologist tried to talk to my son and play with him, and on subsequent sessions, it looked like all she was doing was playing with my son with toys.  The toys themselves have purpose of course - lots of Mr Potato heads so that body parts can be learnt; a shape sorter so he can learn shapes and colours as the blocks are coloured; one of those pop up pirate games where you insert the swords into slots on the side of the barrel (though I'm not sure what this is for, maybe for learning to take turns and learn colours); and a box of toy foods obviously for learning everyday foods.

However, for whatever reason, his speech has improved.  I haven't really done much homework with my son J, because it's a little advanced for his current comprehension level, but I am trying hard to focus with colours and talk to him as much as possible.  I was doing that before though, and not with much success.

People have said they can understand him more now.  He consistently does 3 words, and he is intelligible.  He talks a lot more and he greets everyone and says goodbye properly with names.

I wonder if I had done no interventions, would he naturally develop his speech?  Many people have said to me how they know someone who didn't speak till they were 5, or how Einstein didn't speak till late... however, how long would I wait?  I waited this long, and saw many of my friends taking their children to see Speech pathology at a much earlier age because they were concerned.  But, I console myself by thinking, that if I did nothing and it was too late for early intervention I would be kicking myself.  So, it hasn't hurt my son at all to go to speech therapy - he thinks it's a new game, and quite enjoys going.

I don't know how long I need to persist with speech therapy.  Perhaps until he is fluent or speaking in sentences.  I chose a speech path that is very far from my home, near my work, because it was recommended by friends.  It sucks up a lot of time for me, and though it has done good for my son, I won't be sad when I don't have to do that long ass drive anymore!

Injuring Children who aren't your own

It's a big enough responsibility when you are looking after someone else's children, but the guilt that you feel when you do something bad to them makes you feel terrible!

Within a week, 2 such incidents occurred.  One was ME doing it to someone else's child and the other was someone doing it to MY child.

I went to the Sydney Royal Easter Show on the weekend, and every year I take my kids and last year I took my nephew.  He really enjoyed it so I thought it would be nice to take him again this year.  It was going to be fun, we would go on rides, go see the animals, look at the stalls and arts and crafts, eat crappy food, all that stuff you love to do at the Easter Show.

My nephew, O, has multiple allergies, some of which are severe.  I am usually very careful what I give him.  I know he is allergic to wheat/gluten, chicken, cow's milk, eggs, nuts, but I didn't know/forgot that he was allergic to fish.  He has an epipen (injectable adrenaline) and has been to hospital with severe facial swelling after exposure to his allergens.

My first stop at the Easter show is usually the Woolworths Pavilion.  I love looking at the food there and buying our snacks for the day.  We bought honeyed macadamias and I told my kids E and J not to give any to O.  He had all his own food packed in his bag including apples, sushi rice with pork, fruit sticks, special biscuits and water.  I fed him some of his own food.  Then we bought donuts, and when E offered some to O, I told her no, he can't eat that.  Then we had some beef bulgogi, yoghurt... all these things O can't eat.  I walked past a sushi stall and bought some salmon nigiri sushi for the kids.  Hubby said to me I could share that with O.

I went to offer it to O and he told me he can't eat fish.  I didn't know he was allergic to it.  I took the fish off and gave him the rice.  He took 2 bites.  Then within a minute, he complained he was itchy, and was scratching his mouth.  I didn't realise he was allergic to fish, so I checked him, wondering if he had gotten contaminated with nuts that I had eaten.  No airway swelling but his lip was starting to swell.  I rang O's mum and she told me he had SEVERE fish allergy.  I was horrified.  She told me she had forgotten to pack his antihistamines and I should give some to him and if he didn't get better within 30 minutes he should go home. I told hubby and HK to watch the kids while I ran to get antihistamines from the chemist just around the corner at the Easter Show.  O took his medicine and we all sat eating our lunch whilst I watched him  His lip was now very swollen on the left side and he had itchy lumps/hives forming around his mouth.  His left eye was getting swollen and also had small allergic lumps.  He was still itchy but no tongue swelling.  I told him he should walk only with me because I had to watch him (and I was paranoid he'd have a swollen airway and the only person who could look after him then would be me) but within half an hour the hives had gone and the swelling remained but the eye swelling went down. The itchiness subsided as well.  I felt SO bad.  I am usually so careful with him!  I apologised profusely to his parents at the end of the day (we were out at the show for about 7 hours) and they reassured me everything was ok.  But I still felt bad!

Then yesterday, my sister R and her husband S were looking after the kids after school and one of S's fave games with my son J is to drop him on the couch.  They love that game.  So they were playing that and Uncle S was a little to far to the right and brought him crashing down onto the arm of the chair, knocking J's head with a resounding thump that was frightening.  Instantly J was crying and an egg sized lump was on the back of his head.  J was crying most of the evening in pain and would cry any time anyone tried to touch it.  S felt so terrible, and so did my sister, they nearly cried.  I quickly checked J, he hadn't lost consciousness when hit in the head and his gait was still steady and his pupils were equal and reactive, so I wasn't too worried about him.  A cracked skull would probably be the worst thing and that would be treated conservatively anyway.  J had difficulty sleeping because he couldn't lie down on that part of his head, but once he got comfortable on his side, he slept soundly all night.  I slept with him to make sure he didn't have some kind of head injury and die in his sleep but he was bright and chirpy this morning as if nothing had happened.  My sister and brother in law had a bad night worrying about J so they didn't sleep well.

I think it's important to be up front and honest if you do something to someone else's child.  Hiding or not mentioning it is like lying, and if you lose trust in the people who are caring for your child or they lose trust in you, then it's never going to be good.  Fortunately both times nothing truly horrible happened so it was ok.  But.. it can happen to anyone!

Childhood Memory: Last Day with Nanny M

It was the kids last day with Nanny M.  We knew this day was coming, and it seems so strange that after almost 3 years, they won't be going to her house anymore.  Hubby brought flowers for her, so that the kids could give it to her.

She texted me saying Thank You for the flowers, and she went inside after the kids were gone and had a little cry.  Awww!  I knew she would miss them, they love going to her house, and she talks about my children as if they were her own, proudly showing off pictures of what they had been up to and what they are doing.  People at work would often tell me stories of my own children, and I felt so lucky that I had someone who cared so much about my children, being involved in their care, and that they also loved her and cherished her in their own way in return.

All the bags of clothes we had to take back!  And the car seats!

However, she and I know that it's not like she will never see them again.  We will drop them at her house for a few hours to play so we can go and watch a movie at the awesome cinemas near her place.  I think she'd like that.  In fact I know she would, and the kids would too.

I have thanked her many times, profusely, for the great care she has taken of my kids.  But I just wanted to write it out again here, so I can remember, on their last day officially with her, just how much she loved them.

(This post was written in January but somehow never got published!)

The first week of school

It's that time, when your child first starts school.  It's an emotional time, parents and children cry, and the realisation that your child no longer needs you and is moving onto the next step in their life can be overwhelming for some.

However, there was no tears on our end.  I was anxious, mostly worrying that I would go the wrong room, or my daughter would soil herself and I didn't pack spare clothes... but it all seemed to go well.  She has the vice principal as her Kindergarten teacher, and he's quite dapper looking.  Fortunately, she likes him as well - she said to me he was nice and not scary.

I left her after a few minutes, talking to her teacher Mr M, and snuck out.  Well, at least she was talking to him.  I came back in the afternoon, and she was sitting on the floor with the all the other children, seemingly well behaved.  When I asked Mr M about her that day, he said that she was very quiet and asked about what language we spoke at home, and what cultural background we were.  Then he offered her special class - I think he wanted to know if I should put her in ESL (English Second Language) class!  But my daughter's first language is English, so if she went there, she wouldn't be able to understand anything! So that was a hilarious thing, my daughter was so bad that she was going to be put in ESL even though English is her primary and first language.

J, on the other hand, seemed to sail through daycare last week.  Not a tear, excited to be playing and joining in on everything.  However, this week, the realisation that he was being left behind sunk in and he cried when Dad said goodbye.  It was almost amusing - J was saying "Bye bye E" thinking that E was being left behind but then Dad said to him "No, it's bye bye J!" and then he started to cry.  So far, two days in a row he's cried.  E is on her 3rd day of school with no tears.  I think she really likes it there.

I asked E what she does at school, and she said she does activities, and there's dancing but she didn't dance. She seems to like the ham and cheese sandwiches we make her for lunch, which is good.  I worry that she isn't drinking enough - that will do wonders for her constipation ><  I'm just happy she eats her lunch.

J sleeps and eats at school with no issues.  In fact, he sleeps so well that he doesn't want to sleep at night!  Last night he was up still at 930pm and I was getting cranky with him. Sigh, you can't make day care NOT put him down for a nap.

So that's halfway through our first week.  Smooth sailing so far.

My morning surprise

I was trying to sleep in.  I didn't really want to get up before 530am.

But the kids had other ideas.  I tried to coax them back into bed but only my daughter was cooperating.

Hubby got up and called me to go downstairs to look at our son.  Grudgingly, I got up and headed downstairs to see what mess he had made now.

Sitting at the kids table, was my son, J.  He had his bowl, and was eating cocopops and milk.  There was another bowl, his sister's bowl, opposite him at the other side of the table, also with cocopops and milk and a spoon in it.  There was no cocopops and no milk in sight.  The cocopops was back in the cupboard and the milk was back in the fridge.  There was no spilled cocopops or spilled milk.

My clever little 3 year old son made his own breakfast and his sister's and then put it all away!

So cute :D  I was so proud!

When should I be concerned about Speech Delay?

I've been having my head in the sand a little, when it concerns my son, J.  He is now over 3 and his speech is still slow to come through.  He probably has a vocabulary of around 75 words and can put 2 words together (mostly Hello Mama, bye bye Poh Poh) but he can't talk in sentences.

I went to party with a group of friends who are all in the same profession, most of them are parents of children the same age as my own.  One of them, Dr C, was very concerned about J, and said I should see a speech path soon.  I was reluctant because I was hoping starting child care would get him talking more.

She sent me an article from the ABC New 24 program "Tonic".  There was this quote:

I do a little bit of a developmental screening to see whether the child seems non-verbally ok and so can the chil do puzzles and things that are appropriate at that age.  And again if the child is delayed in any of the things except talking I would say you need to do something now.  If the child is only a late talker then I would say well why don't you try to do these stimulation tips and then at two and a half let's take a look again and si fthe child is still delayed at two and a half then I might say well it seems like maybe we should think about doing something and certainly by three I would recommend speech language therapy if the child really has almost no words by three."

- Leslie Rescorla

I looked up a few other things.  From SheKnows.com, in the parenting section, there's an article called Delayed Speech in Three Year Old is a problem:

By three years of age, a child should have a vocabulary of 600 words with 80 percent intelligibility to a listener who does not know the child. This means that a person who has not previously listened to this child talk can understand 8 out of 10 words. (Parents can often understand what a child is communicating better than anyone else, in spite of any speech delay.) quotation mark open By three years of age, a child should have a vocabulary of 600 words with 80 percent intelligibility to a listener who does not know the child. quotation mark close When should a three-year-old be referred for speech evaluation? Evaluation is indicated if he or she has a vocabulary of 200 words or less, is not using short sentences, and has less than 50 percent intelligibility.

So I guess the question now is - where do I go and whom do I see?  I should be speaking 10,000 words a day to my son.  Gosh, I definitely need to improve in that regard.  And read to him more, but his attention span is so short!  I'll post updates as I progress through this trying time!

My son is singing!

He may not be talking properly yet (still in the 2 word stage) but my son J is actually singing!  He actually has 2 songs that he sings - Happy Birthday and the title song from the animated movie Rio (about a blue macaw).

He has been saying hi-day instead of Happy Birthday, and after my birthday I noticed that he would look at the picture of me and them on my phone with my birthday cake and he would say

"Hi-Day to wooo, Hi Day to wooo."

OMG, so cute.

The other song, is starting to get a little bit annoying.  He sings this part:

"Rio, Rio all bai sell, can seee ca wee"

when the line goes "Rio, Rio all by itself, you can't see it coming, can't really know by yourself"

He sings that very loudly and repeatedly.  And though I should be glad my son is vocalising, man I wish he would stop singing that song.

Plagued by nosebleeds

My son, when he has a cold is plagued by nosebleeds.  He often has nosebleeds but I thought he was getting a little better.  However, this latest upper respiratory tract has caused him to have torrential nosebleeds, even whilst sleeping.  I am concerned because he gets it when he's sleeping - he wakes up choking because blood is pouring down the back of his nose and then he's crying and coughing.  He could drown in his blood if he was dead asleep.

I work with a lot of Ear Nose and Throat surgeons, and one I am closest to, advised first that we just wait it out.  However, I am worried with the continuing nosebleeds and blood loss that he could get anaemic or even die in his sleep.  However, the treatment of these nosebleeds is most likely nasal cautery.  There are risks with this, such as septal perforation, which are not without their own consequences.  And even after the first cautery, it seems to be bilateral, these nosebleeds.  I would have to get both sides cauterised, and that seems like high risk for septal perforation to me.

My poor son. He wakes up crying and saying he wants to sleep whilst I'm trying to press his nose and keep him from dripping blood onto the carpet.  It's heartbreaking to hear him say "Mama, sleep?" because he's so tired and he doesn't want to be going through the nose compressions, face wiping, clothes changes and sprays of otrivin to his nose and just go back and get a good night's rest.

My poor little tyke.  Mummy will think of a solution soon.

Childhood doesn't wait

I was sitting on a bench

while in a nearby mall,

When I noticed a young mother

with two children who were small.

The youngest one was whining,

"Pick me up," I heard him beg

but the mother's face grew angry

as the child clung to her leg.

"Don't hang on to me," she shouted

as she pushed his hands away,

I wish I'd had the courage

to go up to her and say...

"The time will come too quickly

when those little arms that tug,

Won't ask for you to hold them

or won't freely give a hug.

"The day will sneak up subtly

just as it did with me,

When you can't recall the last time

that your child sat on your knee.

"Like those sacred, pre-dawn feedings

when we cherished time alone

Our babies grow and leave behind

those special times we've known.

"So when your child comes to you

with a book that you can share,

Or asks that you would tuck him in

and help him say his prayer...

"When he comes to sit and chat

or would like to take a walk,

Before you answer that you can't

`cause there's no time to talk.

"Remember what all parents learn

so many times too late,

That years go by too quickly

and that childhood doesn't wait.

"Take every opportunity,

if one should slip away

Reach hard to get it back again,

don't wait another day."

I watched that mother walk away

her children followed near,

I hope she'll pick them up

before her chances disappear...

~Unknown~

First day at School

Erika turned 4 this year, which means she will be in Kindy next year.  Her cousin was starting swimming lessons and it was on a Friday and we thought it would be great if they could go together.  So an agreement was made for my sister-in-law (SIL M) to take them to the pool.

Unfortunately, Erika was very distressed to be at swim class.  She was afraid of the teacher.  Her cousin, O, was reticient to start but he was OK by the end of the class.  She would cry when asked to do anything by the teacher, and not do it.  She did however enjoy the water.

I hoped that it would settle by the next week but it was much of the same.  SIL M mentioned that of all the children at the pool, only Erika was the one who was crying and wailing and you could hear it all throughout the swimming complex.  Every other child was enjoying themselves in the water.  I was ashamed, and started to worry because if Erika doesn't obey her teacher in swim class, what will happen when she goes to school?

On the third week, my other sister-in-law took the kids to swim class.  And Erika refused to get into the pool, so SIL J sat with her the whole time outside the pool letting her dangle her feet into the water.  SIL J said that Erika just needed more time to get used to it all, but I felt like she was going backwards rather than forwards.  I made the decision then that Erika had to go to Pre-school.

I searched around and found that there was an opening in the preschool/childcare not far from my place - the one that had dropped flyers in my letterbox before.  I went there with Erika to check out the place and enquire about their facilities - I met the teacher, who was a lovely gentle looking muslim girl with two kids of her own, who encouraged me to put her in the class and reassured me that even though there would be crying, it would be best for Erika to learn now to cope.  I signed up and Erika was going to start the following week.

The first day, I took her and Erika cried and cried.  She cried for a long time, and refused to eat her lunch and only very reluctantly let the teacher, Miss P, take her to the toilet.  All the other children had nice little photo journals of their first day with about 4 pictures, Erika only had 2 because she refused to participate.  Miss P told me that at rest time Erika refused to lie in her cot, but come time to get up she refused to get up, saying she was tired.  My contrary little daughter, oh dear.  When I came to pick her up she started crying and we went home and Miss P told me it would get better.

On the second day she was a little better, ate her lunch.  My hubby said he felt bad leaving her there, but it had to be done.  And when he picked her up she was playing with the other children, but she still cried when she went to school but didn't cry for as long.

Then at swim class that week, Erika was different.  She let the teacher do things with her and she actually laughed.  That was a big difference from the week before.  And she was in the pool at least trying to follow some of the instructions, but not very well - yet.

So the next week at school, I took her again and she complained all morning saying she didn't want to go to school.  When I took her, she cried but as soon as I left she stopped.  I keep forgetting to sign her in, a habit I have to improve.  She was good, Miss P said, except at tea time she took her biscuit and threw it on the floor and stepped on it.  When I came to pick her up, she was playing on the floor with the other teacher with some other children.  She was stacking and lining up model dinosaurs.  So then I took her and asked her to wave goodbye to her teachers and she did.  Miss P said that Erika has not yet greeted her, and I hope that will be remedied in a few weeks.

In swimming this week, she had improved in leaps and bounds.  SIL M has videos of Erika not only floating on her back, but also said that Erika allowed the swim instructor to pick her up and put her in the water, which she would never have done before.  And Erika was doing all sorts of activities with the teacher (there are only 4 students per class, and each has their own turn with the teacher) - such as floating, using floating devices.  I even asked Erika about swim class and she told me she didn't put her head inside the water, she was too scared.  But looking at the videos I was so amazed, that my little girl had come so far.

So in the end, I think that going to preschool made a huge difference for my daughter.  I never realised that she would change so much in a few weeks.  Now I am not worried about her attending school anymore, I think she'll be ok.

Things that make you feel like a bad parent

So I am one of those bad parents who has closed the door on my kid's fingers in the door jam.  But what makes it bad is that it wasn't just once, but TWICE.

I was at my parent's place over Christmas/New Year and they have doors which are at 90 degrees to one another.  I was coming out of the laundry and my son was playing with the living room door and I tried to close the Laundry door but it was stuck so I pulled it harder.  Not realising of course the reason it was stuck was that his hand was in it.  I turned to look at him and he was silently screaming and then a huge wail came out followed by a massive nosebleed.  His poor fingers! I thought I had broken them, they looked so terrible, I felt like a dreadful parent and I carried him and cuddled him for the longest time while I carefully checked his hand which he kept cradling against his chest for the better part of the day.  But he was using his hand later, so I figured it wasn't broken.

Then this week, I was trying to get the kids in the car, and I was strapping my daughter in the back seat and my son was playing with the front door and so I closed the car door, and his fingers were in the gap between the doors and go trapped in the tiny 3-4mm gap that was left once the door was closed.  OMG, I thought I had amputated his fingers!  I quickly opened the door and it was the same hand, same fingers, poor baby.  Hubby admonished me severely and I snapped at him because I already felt bad, it had never happened like that before and telling me to be more vigilant isn't very useful now that the event is over!

My poor son, he will never be a concert pianist, and it will be all my fault.  His poor little fingers.

The light has switched on!

Last week, Julian suddenly seemed to have a light switched on in his head, because one day he just started copying the words I was telling him!  That was around early December.

It's amazing but it feels like in 2-3 weeks his vocabulary has doubled.  Now he says things like fish, balloon (boon), egg, ant, all gone and all done on a regular basis.  It's really heartwarming!

I am wondering how long it will be before I can actually talk to him :)